Monday, July 16, 2012

is this hell?

okay so I am thinking this may be bandster hell....

I have been so hungry for 2 days now, I am in the kitchen every hour looking around.
I am so scared that I am going to gain back all that I have lost, I would be soooo sad and mad about that!!!!
I am trying to make good choices when I did get something while in the kitchen. yogurt or nothing is my usual choice...
I have had dinner with my guys the past 3 nights, I have small portions, but it is really things I have always made- so far for dinner I have made and eaten (a lil plate).
meatloaf -au'gratin potato-green beans
rotisserie chicken in herb gravy-garlic whipped potatoes-nutmeg carrots
fresh basil & garlic meatballs- tomato sauce-pasta

and today for lunch 1/2 of a homemade chicken salad with lettuce and tomato wrap.

I HAVE to start cooking and eating lighter things while I am waiting for my fill or I am really going to be sorry. I am trying to eat like soft mushy stuff, but I just have to get away from the comfort food though, even small portions are not for every night, and without a fill I am not eating small enough portions... this is going to be a long 4 weeks before I get my first fill..... do we have any restriction without a fill? I want to be able to eat what I want (to a degree not cakes, and snacks etc.. but food) even with a fill I want mostly to control portion, obviously I am not going to eat fast food and junk food or drink pepsi or whatever but like for dinner I do want to be able to have the comfort food in small portions sometimes.
so anyways I just wanted to confess that I have been a bad banded mama, but I guess not even close to as bad as I could have been or would have been in the past. I have not had any junk food, no soda, no take out no fast food nothing like that at all!!!! just feeling guilty about the stuff I did have listed above....... and  I wasn't feeling guilty at the time I was preparing and cooking these meals, but this morning I was thinking this aint so bad, I have been doing good and I have been eating like a queen , then I was like wait a minute..... maybe I should not be eating like a damn queen... I don't know ....what do you guys think???

I have to see my surgeon Wednesday to get these damn staples out.. I think I have an infection but he does not from what I have told him over the phone... I know on Wed. he is going to say that I have one and I cant wait to say ya well I called you and you didn't want to believe me...

 sorry that this is just a big crazy long confusing confession post,  but I had to get it out lol....

9 comments:

  1. Why do you think you have an infection? Are your incisions red and inflamed... hot to the touch? Ar ethey oozing fluid?

    The port incision will stay sore for awhile. That is normal. Hope it is nothing.. and your appointment goes well on Wednesday.

    As for restriction, it may take a few fills before you feel any. It depends on how agressive your fills are. Just keep it healthy as you can, and don't stress too much about food right now. It is not uncommon to gain during bandster hell.

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    1. yes yes all the classic signs of infection, but he was like "ya thats just how staples heal" , ah no maybe some redness but not crusty pus scabs thanks Doc! lol- but whatevs he will see ....lol my port is feeling good now.

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  2. Exactly 2 weeks after surgery I was starving ..... Got my fill at week 4. My band was put in with no saline so really once I healed my old hungries came right back.

    I think you being hungry is yourself healing from the surgery.

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    1. mine was put in empty as well, cant wait for my fill..

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  3. Do you have a fever? Have they given you any signs to look out for, where they would see you earlier if the symptoms got worse? I'm concerned for you! Hope you are doing OK, and that Wednesday comes quickly.

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    1. Thanks CJ, no he didnt really mention what to look for he just told me, thats how staples heal... but I think he just thinks I am a pain in the ass, I may be, but that doesnt make my incisions any less infected.day after 2-mor not bad.. I cant wait to be right hahaha but actually maybe I would rather be wrong hmmm

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  4. Yup, i feel exactly the same. i'm hungry and living on pure will power right now. and right now will power is starting to slack! my first fill isn't until Aug 1st and i don't know if i an make it!!!!

    hang in there!

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  5. I think as long as you are using healthy ingredients and eating small portions you should be fine! In my info from the dr. it says that recovery time is NOT about losing weight...it's about healing. That you should not focus on losing weight because you will be able to and encouraged to eat foods you won't be able to lose once you start getting fills.

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  6. Don't stress, we all go through this. And there's nothing you've been eating that warrants a "confessional" post like this, lady. That's what you're supposed to be eating - normal foods, just less of them than you used to eat.

    Restriction is purely a satiated feeling, so if you're looking for a "STOP!" feeling, just try and really concentrate on your body's reactions and figure out your soft stop. :)

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anything you wanna know, wanna say, or advice you may have ~ let me know here. thanks