Thursday, August 9, 2012

my first TTT... I can do it too, right?

ok so I am going to attempt my first 10 things Thursday....

1.) I had a gain of 2 pounds!!! wtf.. I know my TOM is coming but seriously I am sooo down because of this, I did not do much exercise this week and I ate Chinese food, ( 2 chicken fingers) but I am going to move forward and bust my ass this week...
2.) I feel like a porka, because of the 2 pounds I put back on my body, and I am trying to focus on how to get these pounds plus more off soon, but it is hard not to beat myself up, I let myself down, I was so proud maybe even feeling like "ya thats right I got this no sweat", but look at me now- a 2 pound porkier porka. now I realize it takes work, hard work complete focus and no slip ups not even 1 bad choice, it is going to take my all for me to get where I want to be this time next year (or even next week)
3.) ok ok I will move forward.... I have made a promise to myself... I will focus on my goal from morn - night, exercise daily!! , and eat the right things ALWAYS.
4.) I have been buying clothing in lots of different sizes at my favorite thrift store and I hang them up in the cellar, when I need some motivation I make up lil outfits and hang them together... I need a mannequin lol
5.) Julie the dandy bandy mentioned the other day that she cant wait to show her style... me too!! I really have always had style but you would never know because as a porka I have either dressed in stretch pants with a jersey shirt from the fat lady section or my pajamas... I cant wait to actually buy and were something that I LOVE! I cant wait to actually look my best! and feel that way too...
6.) I was really starting to feel old, I think that is what started my thinking about WLS from the start, I was just starting to feel like an invisible momma, one of those people who you cant really guess their age but you know they are definitely not young, or funny or cool at all and that is not me, as you well know, I am quite cool haha ok maybe not cool but I am not old thats for sure! - I am only 35 baby !! now my Hubby he is old haha 45...
7.) speaking of my hubby, I am still trying to talk him into the band, I really hope he does it, if not WLS I would settle for him just losing, any way he feels comfortable with, but losing! before I lose him, I really do worry about that... he is a hard worker and a big guy, kinda a scary mix...
8.) I cant wait for my fill, I really feel like my will power is getting a lil less powerful... ya memba the 2 pound gain folks...
9.) I am working on setting up a home gym in my cellar, I have decided that it is the best choice for me, a person with agoraphobia should not pay over $800 to join the Y... the anxiety it would cause is something I am not ready to deal with and it would really make me get into a "fuck it" kind of mind set... we dont want that do we? no we dont. so home gym!! I am excited for it! ordering some things this w/e tax free baby! and doing other stuff while I wait... like walking and my xbox workout (fitness evolved)
10.) did I mention the 2 pound gain... ok just checking ....WTF the porka inside has struck again, that lazy chicken finger eating biaatch!

oh and I should thank Laura Belle... for TTT.
 I always enjoy reading my peeps's's's TTTs and I enjoyed my first time... was it good for you? lol

15 comments:

  1. Congratulations on your first 10 things ...

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  2. Woman, you're never going to make all the right choices 24/7. Or maybe you could, but it wouldn't be sustainable long-term. Just settle for making the right choices 80% of the time. One gain doesn't make or break your journey, so try and not get too down about it. It was probably just water weight from the Chinese anyway, that stuff is evil.

    Also, I wouldn't push your husband into WLS. He might resent you for it. I bet once he sees how successful you are, he'll want it for himself... but until he's ready to make a change for himself, it's a bad idea anyway.

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    1. I agree Ronnie, he doesnt know I am pushing him, it is lil sneaky wife pushing and let him think it is his choice lol but really i just hope he does something. ya that dang chinese food it is the devil, stupid chicken fingers jumping into my mouth dipped in duck sauce and ginger sauce.............. ahhhhh what just happened I blacked out and I am drooling... lol

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  3. 2lbs is probably water weight from the chinese--don't sweat it. and a fill is probably in order..just you wait!

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  4. I'm really glad you're able to set up your home gym. For the days when it's too much for me to leave the house, I have home workouts so I that my anxiety issues don't stop me working out. Well done you and don't worry about the 2lbs, think about the overall downward trend! x

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    1. I am so happy about my home gym, and excited to get going!

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  5. I'm gonna repeat the last ladies... fuggedabout the 2 lb gain. You are GOING to see gains... that's just a fact of this journey. There are some things beyond your control that lead to gains. Yay on the home gym! I wish I had the space :( I STILL haven't started exercising yet... We are in busy season at work so i'm working 6:45 am to about 5pm almost everyday AND i'm getting things ready for my little one's 1st bday party saturday. I know, excuses excuses. I WILL start working out soon though promise k?

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    1. have a great day Saturday!!! and I bet once we get our first fills we will both be in lapband rocking, kicking this extra weights ass, sweaty slappy exercise mode daily!
      hope work will get less crazy soon, but you are loving the overtime $ I bet!!.

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  6. i know right now you feel bad for the 2lbs but once you get your fill, trust me, you'll get the help you need! i gained 4lbs back before i got my first fill and yea i hated myself for it. hang in there!

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    1. right! I am excited to get some equipment, and get going, it is tax free weeked this w/e in Mass. so I am shopping baby!! lol

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  8. I wish you were not being so hard on yourself. :-( I hope the encouragement from everyone else helps. I hate to hear you calling yourself names. It sounds to me like you have had so many successes - and like you are using feedback to adjust your plans ie: "I haven't joined the Y yet....maybe that isn't the best fit for me right now...maybe a home gym is a better idea". I think that is great creative problem solving, just would like to see you subtract the beating yourself up part. ((((hug))))

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    1. oh porka is just a lil nickname I like to call me inner hungry chubby girl lol... I have been trying hard, and doing great, up 'til the chicken finger lol.. I just dont wantthe mistake to get out of control sometimes one slip will lead to another and that is what I dont want.. thanks for my hug :o)

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  9. Don;t beat yourself up too bad about 2 lbs. I gained 7 pounds in 7 days when I went on vacation. I also lost those 7 lbs. over the next 7 days when I got home. Turns out it was mostly fluid retention. I retain fluid very easily...it's one of the reasons I don;t weigh daily.

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  10. I'm slowly doing the home gym thing myself. I bought an elliptical on craigslist and will hopefully get a treadmill soon...hopefully before the snow comes....I hate gaining weight like that sort of makes me want to slap someone that says, it's as simple as eating less and exercising more...

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anything you wanna know, wanna say, or advice you may have ~ let me know here. thanks