my weight at my first appt with surgeon 274.9 pounds
my weight morning of surgery 259.4 pounds
my current weight 238.8 pounds (word)
I am kinda happy and mad about that last # I know I could have been down a lot more if I got in more exercise seriously no more excuses about that, why the hell would I not go down the cellar for 15 or 20 minutes a day , it would make me happier with my weekly weigh ins not because it would make me lose more, well not only that, but because I would not have to hear the lil voice in my head when I look at the scale saying " well, ya that's great but it could be better, if you got off your ass porka" but then on the other hand I am very proud of myself when I think of just how bad I could be and when I think of how I do get in my exercise daily, I know I am confusing you but what I think I am trying to say is this....
I have to stop comparing myself to the me I would be if I had nothing but time for me, I am not that me and I have to just accept that when I was thinking about how hard I was going to work at this and all of the exercising I was going to do and whatever while I was in preop phase, I was thinking of me and me alone- big mistake! I could never have the time or energy to live up to my own expectations, not the me who has to make breakfast lunch dinner and drinks and snacks and playtime and stories, and everything else for my lil guy, plus diaper changes, tubbys, bedtimes and naptimes, and laundry and just sitting down for 5 seconds (to watch caillou of course)... I have decided to set more realistic weekly exercise goals for myself, I dont know what would be a good idea of like how many hours in a week I should aim for but I think that setting a weekly # would help, (any ideas?)
I have been really thinking about my goal weight ( I have decided on 150) and I know I will get there and I (kinda) know how. I am going to stop putting this 1 year time limit on myself, and I am going to make a more mommy friendly workout plan so I can stop feeling like a mini failure when I should be feeling like WHOA I have lost 37 pounds in 116 days....
lets see what else ......OH can I just say I hate 241, I stayed 241 for a lot more weeks than I should have it was like 3 weeks! but now I am happily at 238.8 and I will never have to see 241 on my scale again... I do hate you 241 you are a bastard, F- you and the cookie you rode in on.
here are a few pics of me for your viewing pleasure from day of surgery to now
about 2 months post op
3 months post op
37 pounds down woohoo :o)
and my lil guy, Johnny.